It has been a while since my last post. Granted, if you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you would have had a glimpse of what I’ve been up to.
It’s been a year since we moved to Australia. Life’s been moving quickly for us!
When Ben and I landed in Brisbane last year, we were stuck together for fourteen days in hotel quarantine. We used that time to sit down and have a goal-setting session, where we laid out our medium-term goals. This included a two-year timeline for buying a used car as well as a house. Happy to report that we’ve ticked both off the list in twelve months! We did not expect it, and it was possible because we were flexible with our goals and were willing to reframe what we wanted.
Jump to:
Bought a car, learning to drive
Our original goal was to have a near-new hybrid car around the $35,000 range. Some time after moving in, Ben realised how difficult it is in general to not have a car for when you need to do some large shop, go out of town to visit friends, or go on a trip to show friends around. While we got by with rentals, it came with its own stressors as you needed to go to the car, leave the car in a designated spot and extend your hours in the app if you were running behind schedule.
So when Ben found a used car listing for a very decent Holden Cruze selling for a little under the market value, he wasted no time contacting the seller. We knew we would spend a bit fixing it up, but for now we have a car.
Admittedly, Bluey has had a few issues—his battery failed on the morning of his first real trip—we were headed to Fish Creek to attend a wedding. Ben also had him checked and we’ve replaced a few minor parts in his engine. After our Fish Creek weekend, the seat warmers also stopped working for some reason… But Bluey’s old and we love him. I have never owned a car before, so it feels a bit liberating that you can go as you please, and as needed.
I’ve also started taking driving lessons. My instructor is good and doesn’t falter even when I do. She had me start city driving right away. So far, I have logged about eight hours, including an hour with Ben.
Returned to the Philippines
Earlier this year, it dawned on me that both Australia and the Philippines had lifted mandatory hotel quarantine restrictions on international travellers. For my case, it would have made travel easier. I also realised I had both the travel budget and the time on my calendar to schedule a visit. Ben also thought it was a good idea for me to go home and spend time with my family. So I went.
I won’t get into detail, because it’s now all behind me, but from the moment I bought my plane tickets I had been carrying a lot of anxiety about the trip—about the things that could go wrong, problems I could encounter on my visa status / overseas Filipino status (all wildly imagined), and the things I needed to do or prepare for. For example, although not a single soul expressly requested or required it of me, I took it upon myself to take on the obligation to send balikbayan boxes back to my family (also because I could not have begun to afford the baggage allowance required if I decided to bring all my pasalubong in the plane with me.)
All these piled together meant that I was often miserable to be with, either wallowing in my anxiety or stressfully trying to prepare for my trip. Ben stayed steadfast by me and was a part of all the pasalubong shopping and even helped me pick out clothes, as well as figure out sizing and other choice considerations for my family—our family.
It was all so rewarding in the end. All my fears were unfounded and felt silly in hindsight.
I saw my papa again after two years. I came home again to Palawan after four years.
As with most of my past visits, I keep to the house just to spend idle days with my family. Papa and Tita Frithz made sure I was well-fed and entertained, though! It also felt good to spend time with Angkong, as well as my siblings.
In Puerto, we had a big family reunion on my father’s side. We all drove up to a secluded resort and had the entire place to ourselves! Annoyingly, we forgot to take a full family photo.
I saw a lot of my family in Manila, too. Again, not many photos to show, but it had been such a blast and a blessing to be able to spend time with Tita Mari and my cousins in their home, where I stayed.
I’d forgotten how hot it is in the Philippines! Since living with Ben I’ve been a bit used to air conditioning running all the time, but during my stays in Manila and Palawan I’ve felt, for the first time in a long time, how it feels to perspire through my clothes, to feel the sweat on my scalp, and to forget that the feeling bothered me whenever I’d get a respite from the heat and the perspiration dries. I hated it the first few days, but now that I’m back in Melbourne, I realise I took it for granted! The warm weather makes me feel… alive. Here in Melbourne, the days are so cold that it still astonished me whenever I’d reach for anything and they’d feel cold to the touch, including my clothes. In July, the coldest month, I felt like my fingers could die from exposure, and I could feel my skin prickle from the dryness sometimes.
I also surprised myself with how many people I met up with, even if just for a brief lunch or dinner. I’m not a very sociable person, but because of the limited time I now have in the Philippines, I was so much more willing to put the effort to see my family and friends—the people in my life. Annoyingly, I don’t have photos with Kim, my childhood best friend who not only met up with me for a late-night Starbucks run, but also picked me up from the airport and drove me home.
I even attended a wedding, a day before my flight back to Melbourne. The timing was simply fortuitous. It was a pleasant surprise seeing a lot of my high school classmates—I had not known beforehand who would be coming to the wedding, and was content to spend it with just my sister as my +1.
I didn’t get to see our old cats, but I was shown photos of how they’ve been doing. They look well and unstressed in a safe environment.
Leaving my home country made me cling to my culture even more, and I have not appreciated my Filipino heritage as much as I do today. I bought wooden handicrafts while in Palawan—a replica of the famous Manuggul Jar, as well as harvest statues made by the Tagbanwa people of Palawan. I bought more kropek than I can eat from Nagcarlan, lengua de gato from Baguio, kapeng barako from Cavite, and real Filipino salabat with a bite that no Western-label ginger tea can seem to replicate. I even bought a small replica of a sorbetes cart as well as a very accurate jeepney figurine. I bought enough pasalubong to bring back to my coworkers to fit in a small box. I realise I’m proud of my culture and my heritage. I want other people to experience it.
I plan to visit the Philippines once every 2–3 years. I still hope to visit my mom and sisters in the States someday. For the meantime, my sister Jenna is planning to visit us here instead! She’ll be flying in in a couple of weeks.
On a side note, spending time with family in the Philippines did a lot of good for my mental health. Being in a large household where I had little control of things like chores and errands, routines and mealtimes meant I simply did away with my structures in life and leaned into the erratic and unexpected, every day. I found that time stretched for much longer, and how long I slept or how many times I woke up in the night did not greatly affect the next day. When I returned to Melbourne I was, in hindsight, astonished at how tightly I wound myself up with a tightly regimented schedule of chores, errands and exercises, multiple alarms signalling phases of my day, the stresses of simple errands, of putting away every single dish, and of rigid standards I imposed on myself. I couldn’t explain to you in this post why I think this way, but when I think on my mindset in the Philippines versus the mindset I had prior, here in Melbourne, I am not surprised at why people in small, nuclear families, or who live alone in developed nations, are lonelier and more depressed than those who have far less to live on.
Weekend getaway
Earlier this month, we had a weekend getaway at a charming town called Daylesford. It was a planned trip with two other couples, and a surprise for one of them by his girlfriend. There wasn’t an occasion.
We drove in, stayed at a quaint little cabin, and spent the weekend having fancy dinners, talking over wine and cheese, playing board games by the fire, and spending the day visiting wineries and strolling by the town’s lakeside.
The trip made me feel all grown up. We spent quite a good deal on food and wine and just having an enjoyable time. I had not done this before and although I have only known the other couples for less than a year, I did genuinely enjoy myself.
To be honest, it made me feel guiltily privileged and a little dirty and self-indulgent. That’s something for me to think about.
Bought a house… and fun with numerology
Here’s a bigger update—we bought a house!
Ben and I were very new to this, and we were complete greenhorns when it came to buying and making an offer. We were often eager and showed our eagerness quite plainly to the real estate agents.
For context, we signed on with a financial adviser (an actual firm—in the Philippines, ‘financial advisers’ are quick-licenced life insurance brokers who are directly affiliated with the instruments they’re peddling), originally to get advice on how I could best invest my money to ensure I have decent retirement savings and investments, since I am an immigrant and about ten years behind on my super contributions. (In Australia, they call the equivalent of the US 401k, their superannuation, or their ‘super’. In the Philippines, you’ll get peanuts so no-one really talks about their SSS contributions. Unless you work for the government, then your GSIS will pay off.)
The initial consult turned into a comprehensive evaluation of our life and financial goals, which prompted one of the advisers to ask if we would consider prioritising buying a home over pumping out my savings on super—it would make sense in the short- and medium-term and would not affect the long-term.
So that’s what we did. They deftly handled and took care of us and connected us to the financing options available to us. The reality of the housing market and the limitations of our finances meant we needed to lower our budget and expectations, which we were happy to do. Instead of aiming for a 4BR house with a yard in a nice suburb, we landed on a 3BR townhouse in a rapidly developing suburb.
The house-hunting process was… par for the course. Friends have cautioned and advised us to not get emotionally invested in our leads, as it can take several offers on our part to find a vendor who would accept.
Admittedly, while we didn’t get help from the infamous Bank of Mum & Dad, we did ask help from one of our closest friends to borrow some money to help make the deposit / initial purchase contribution. ‘It’s not a question of serviceability,’ our broker had stressed; the biggest barrier to many homebuyers is the deposit, which directly affects the LVR on a bank loan.
We also saw houses that were below the market rate in terms of their general features and location, but they were old fixer-uppers. ‘Lipstick on a pig’ is what Ben would call them upon inspection.
Here were the two houses we thought we had a chance at:
- 3 Fanning Close, Lilydale, Vic 3140 – Property Details (realestate.com.au)
- We loved this and scrambled to put together an offer immediately. We lost by 10k and to an unconditional offer.
- 1 Ryegrass Close, Bundoora
- I won’t bother linking it because the agent is so shady and they updated the original link to a different listing, which isn’t even accurately pointing to how the house really looks like! The original townhouse was a stunning dream, a 4BR 4-bathroom Mary Poppins-type house where the floor plan was playfully and masterfully done and there was so much space you’re surprised how small it looked from the outside. This one was also underquoted and we thought we had a shot but really didn’t.
Finally, one evening, Ben was looking at suburbs we hadn’t considered before, and landed on a townhouse in Bayswater. ‘Why aren’t we considering this?’ he asked. We inspected it, loved it, and it was pleasantly and comfortably within our price range. We learned a few tips about making offers on house prices from my coworker:
It made me remember the kuwento my father had about the time his mother purchased the house I grew up in—in Paco, in the ’80s. I only heard it in passing because my father was having a friendly argument with his brother about who was the better son, and they were both recollecting the same memory of who had been with my ama when she made the purchase.
‘I remember because I was there. The house was purchased for <amount>.’
‘Then you weren’t there, because it had sold for 888,000,’ my father quipped. My ama confirmed his account of things.
You might already know that the number eight is considered auspicious in Chinese culture, with a double-8 figure being moreso, because it resembles the ‘double happiness’ symbol used in Chinese calligraphy.
Applying these bits on knowledge on our purchase, and realising the owner of the house is Chinese, we made an offer for 688,000.
It was accepted over an unconditional offer.
I like to think that the seller saw it as an auspicious sign.
To be candid, we sort of bought at the worst time, lol. The global economic climate took a turn for the worse between our offer and settlement—in particular, due to inflation, the Reserve Bank of Australia increased interest rates, so property values are (finally) starting to fall. Meanwhile, our home loan interest rate went from 2.42% during pre-approval and now to 3.67% as our settlement closed. Ben and I expect this to go up still.
Our settlement also closed today, actually. All went well. We are officially homeowners now.
After a wonderful year living in the city, we’ll move into the suburbs and ease into the suburban life. We had a sample of it by visiting our local Woolworths. We liked what we saw. We also checked out local food places and gyms as we were driving to and from the house this afternoon.
We don’t have to move for another month, yet. For the meantime, savouring these last days at our apartment.
A little introspection
Ever since my last post, I have had little inclination to write on my blog. It’s not because I’m unhappy, but because I’m… content? It’s an odd feeling. The voice inside my head that never stops composing… quieted. I used to heed that near-constant call for self-expression. It simply died down, and lately it’s been enough for me to post on Instagram.
The other day I also found some ‘scratch paper’, took out my pencil, and started scribbling again. I used to draw a lot. In high school, people pointed to me as the artistic type, the ‘magaling mag-drawing’ kid in class. In all the years since, I have had little to no desire to hone that craft. Sometimes I pick up a pencil, as it to try to prove something to myself, and attempt to draw something. I keep drawing the same animé girls I was so used to doing since I was a little girl, and if any surprise registers, it’s that of the realisation each time that my skill in sketching has not grown further in any dimension. If I were honest with myself, I simply have no desire anymore to draw.
On paper, it sounds unsettling, almost symptomatic of depression. But I think I just… changed over time, grew more stereotypically boring. I don’t really perceive it to be a negative thing. I’m quite engaged in my domestic enterprises, and we have a vibrant social life I’d never known in the years prior. Also, more often than not, Ben and I are on top of things—errands, chores, social lives, finances, work—you name it.
If anything, my Philippine visit made me remember parts of myself that had been tucked away through the years—that I love staying at home with family members. I love the motions of it. I love the morning coffee with my father and the late-night beers with my grandfather. I love playing old games on the PC with younger siblings watching intently at my progress. I love the long nights watching bombastic American action movies with people quietly in the room with me. I love rising at 5:00 am with my aunt to make the bed, make coffee, make breakfast…
There are still many things that keep me going in life—I have so much to live for. It’s just a bit tricky when I introduce myself to new coworkers, or am in a social situation where I’m supposed to share something about myself—hobbies perhaps, or an interesting tidbit. These days I just say that I’m a homebody. I’m learning to drive. I still want to learn Mandarin and Japanese. I still play Overwatch on occasion. I enjoy strength training. My penchant for home gardening ebbs and flows. I might never pick up a musical instrument after all, although I still surprise people on occasion when I pick up the microphone at karaoke. My idea of an easy Saturday is having a nice brunch out, doing errands with Ben, with time to browse shops in-between. Then that’s it.
I once shared on the simple living subreddit that curating the life you want to live, exactly the way you want to live it, is a painstaking process. I think I’ve curated something very close, and I’m very seldom in want of things.
Or, you know, I’ve just reached my midlife early and became boring early.