Whether you’re a minimalist, living with intentionality, or just want to make it easier for your loved ones to get you presents, a wish list is a thing you share if you’d like something that someone may be happy to get you.
An unwish list if the inverse of that. I care about the people in my life and do not wish to make them feel bad about something they got for me out of love. These are things I unfortunately tend to regift, donate, forget about, or otherwise declutter:
Jewelry
- I don’t wear a lot of jewelry, but when I do wear or choose pieces, it’s a very personal thing. If you get me jewelry that’s not on my wish list, I will likely never wear it, or wear it once to honour it. Then stash it away until I feel enough time has passed for me to declutter it.
- In particular, I tend towards gold jewelry—not gold-plated, gold-filled, vermeil, silver, stainless steel, or costume jewelry. To me it makes sense, because anything less tarnishes over time or oxidises to the point that people throw them away, anyway. Good, solid pieces make sense to me. I will wear them for a very long time, and they have a very high reuse value.
- When I was a child, I was very fascinated with gemstones, but into adulthood I have never felt the need to wear any. I have no attachment to my birthstones (turquoise and zircon), or any stones or symbols associated with my astrological sign (Western or Eastern).
Makeup or cosmetic gift sets
- I have sensitive, acne-prone skin, and my current skincare and makeup routine is built from years of painstaking trial and error (my husband has seen this firsthand). This is also why I refuse promos and bundles from stores, no matter how much value makeup ladies claim I’m getting.
- If you give me something I did not ask for, or is out of my routine, I will likely not use it or give it away after a few uses. (My mother lucked out though, and bought me what is now my HG moisturiser.)
- I am very conservative with makeup in that I am not adventurous at all. I go for warm neutrals. The only exception in my collection is the famous NARS Orgasm blush, which is cooler than it is warm.
Clothing
- I am very intentional about my wardrobe (although I’m not blessed with the best fashion sense). It’s deeply personal to me, and my sartorial expression ties to my sense of identity. My wardrobe is an area of my life I cull aggressively. People in my life have gifted me clothing in the past, or have accompanied me shopping. I have not met anyone who truly ‘got’ what or how I wanted to dress, not even my best friend or my husband.
Bags or shoes
- My husband complains I have too many bags! He’s bought me an occasional bag or two that I ended up not using much, even though I clearly wanted it at the time. When it comes to accessorising in this area, I am very cautious and end up with ‘timeless’ styles in base colours. My sister once gifted me teal high-platform sandals. I did not use them even once.
Hand or body lotions
- I have a backlog of travel-size lotions / hand creams that will last me the next five years, I reckon. I don’t need any more. Same with full-size body lotions on my night stand.
Stationery, notebooks, and pens
- I love notebooks and fountain pens, as well as having a completely stocked office. Chances are, I already have what you might give me, in abundance. I already have a staple-less stapler.
- I prefer nondescript Moleskins with soft-bound leather, and with dotted pages. Nonetheless, Moleskine doesn’t play well with fountain pens (smudging and feathering). So I also have a stock of Clairefontaines.
Home decor or house plants
- Ben and I are minimalists to an extent in that we’re very bothered by clutter, and very intentional with our living space. This is an area that is prone to clutter. If there is something that resonates with either of us, we will likely have already bought it, or put it on our wish lists.
- For plants, I’m a big follower of native species / permaculture. A lot of popular indoor plants are exotic species taken from South America or Africa. They are not native.
Mess kits / zero-waste products
- If it’s for sale, I may already have it! Stainless steel straws, KeepCups (thank you, Nikki!), tumblers, spoon-and-fork-and-chopstick sets, eco-bags, produce bags, menstrual cups, cloth pads…
- I even have tiny Kilner jars for sugar, to avoid using sugar packets in cafes.
Books
- I’m a bibliophile, and keeping up with my reading plan is a sore point for me. I already have a curated reading list of books which I have either bought or will borrow from the library.
Perfume
- I am obsessive with finding my signatures scents for all occasions, and have a curated list on Fragrantica. Ergo, I am very particular with fragrance. People have been exceptionally generous in this area, so I am not wanting. If you’re interested, check out my wish list as on occasion I will be eyeing a new fragrance that I haven’t gotten around to buying yet.
So, what can you get me instead?
Quality time
- Have brunch or a coffee with me. This is how I spend my time with the few friends I have in my life (I’m really just not that sociable). Then let’s walk in the park and maybe window-shop a bit.
- Caveat: Movies are a chore for me. The only reason I was up to date with the latest movies in my twenties, was because my ex was an avid moviegoer. The last time I was personally excited for a movie was when Deathly Hallows came out.
- Visiting. Spend time at our house, or invite us to yours. It’s so rare and special when it happens because I feel like this is disappearing in our generation. My parents definitely spent their twenties visiting friends. I have many memories of this.
Food
- I enjoy getting baked goods and foods that keep well in the fridge, which means I get a free pass on cooking or eating out the next day. I don’t think I’m really that picky.
- Nothing in excess. We are a household of two people, and Ben will not always help me with food gifts or takeaways. I love baked goods, but if I get a half-dozen donuts I do end up forcing myself to have them for the next six days.
Nothing
I don’t expect gifts. I’m at a point in my life where I am not in want of material things. I know how it feels to be in that place. Most things are provided for me, and I don’t take that for granted. Don’t worry about getting me anything. The last few years have been very kind to me. I’m also trying to live minimally and sustainably.
I know it sounds snooty and obnoxious, but my approach to gift-giving has changed in my twenties. I decline to participate in Secret Santas / gift exchanges. Even before I learned about minimalism, the Monito-Monita (Kris Kringle) gift exchange in my country never sat well with me. It’s when you give someone an inexpensive trinket every day for many days, each day following a theme (‘something long and hard’ / ‘something cold’ / ‘something sparkly’ / etc.) My impression is that nobody really likes what they get, save for the brief excitement it serves, then it is disposed of for lack of usefulness.
For the people in my life, I have a format to gift-giving that makes them happy. For my father, it’s pistachios and Cadbury Turkish Delight. For his partner, it’s Irvins salted egg chips. For mine and Ben’s mums, it’s flowers. For Ben’s dad, it’s rum. For my grandfather, it’s tea and tea cakes / digestives. Notice all of these are food and consumables. Small material gifts, given over a lifetime, will accumulate in your household.
My recent gift to Ben was a nice, good-quality cotton towel, which he especially liked from the moment he pulled it out of its wrapping. Another gift to him was a bottle of whiskey he specifically requested.
It’s not very exciting, that’s true, but it doesn’t take away from our happiness.
When was the last time you’ve made someone happy?