There is a tidbit I read once on Reader’s Digest. This was an issue back in the nineties or early 2000s.
The average person knows about 400 people.
I can’t recall how it was worded—it’s been years—but I reckon it counted the number of people someone knew at any given time, while minding his daily life.
That tidbit probably didn’t age well, especially not with the advent of social media.
I’m decluttering Facebook and want to be much more intentional about my use. I’ve struggled with social media in the last few years, and it’s becoming clear to me that I get far too much value out of Facebook to delete it completely.
So what do I do? I become more intentional about what I keep. This includes groups, interests, liked pages, and of course, friends and Messenger groups.
So, if you notice that we are no longer friends—or that I do not add you back, or like your page, please know it’s not personal.
If you find that I’ve left a Messenger group, it’s because I feel like I do not engage enough with the group for it to be worth your time or mine.
Permanently unfollowing a person, or ignoring a chat group, is a hollow gesture. You no longer care for the persons involved, but keep them out of sight.
In sifting through my friends list, I ask myself:
- Are we close? Do we talk at all, you and me?
- Did we talk at all in school, or at a previous job—like one to one?
- Do I even remember you? Or do I just remember your face and name?
- If we talked before, do we still talk now?
- If I saw you out in the street, would I walk up to you and greet you?
- Are you part of my extended family and friends—someone important to someone important to me?
- Do I like following you, because I find you inspiring, or because I remember you fondly?
These are questions I mull over—they’re not a checklist or algorithm. Of course, if you find that we’re not ‘Facebook friends’, it doesn’t mean that I don’t ever want to see you, or that I would ignore you if reached out.
I want to keep Facebook personal, intimate, and—as a social media platform—as disengaging as possible.
We’re beginning to realise the importance of taking back our privacy, our personal information, and our time.
Thank you for understanding.
(Also, feel free to unfriend or unfollow me back! lol)